Adjustments Between 2 Lives

Each month I have Drill. Sometimes it's just for the weekend and other times it lasts all week, as was the case in October but with a deployment coming up sometimes this kind of crap happens. My frustration lies with in myself in trying to balance my 2 lives. A few days before, sometimes longer, I try and prepare myself to get in the "Army" mindset. A mind set that will help my in preparing to do unthinkable things if need be in the coming months. I go through different scenarios in my head that we have practiced and I try and imagine what I would do. I'm sure it's alot like athletes do before big games. I did. I just try to get into the Army mindset. During this process I find myself being short and getting angry at people for stupid stuff. Like a couple days before our last drill while standing in line this guy who gets all upset at the old lady in front of him at the counter who is buying lotto tickets and who in his opinion is taking to long who turns around and looks at me as if to say can you believe this lady. I smile but if this guy really knew what I was thinking. That the only thing keeping me from ripping this guys head off and using it as a soccerball is that last piece of straw that separates us from animals. Usually this kind of stuff wouldn't bother me. I would just think this guy is a jerk and carry on about my day. Sometimes though it stays with me a little longer. This mindset usually last a few day after I come back but I'm finding that the last couple of months it's not really going completely away. It's getting harder and harder to readjust to my real life each time I'm away. Maybe thats good. Maybe this is what most nornal people go through before their deployment and I'm just normal. Who knows. Or maybe if they would just fix Social Security and Medicare/Medicaid then this old lady wouldn't have to buy lotto tickets and then this guy would have never turned around. So I guess I'll just blame the government. LOL